❓My mother-in-law keeps secretly adding meat broth or lard to dishes — what should I do?

When direct conversation isn't getting you very far, a different angle might work better — a lot of older folks believe a bit of meat fat is what makes food taste good, and underneath that is usually worry that you're not eating well or getting enough nutrition, not a deliberate attempt to make things hard for you. Try inviting your mother-in-law to learn one or two of your go-to vegetarian recipes together, so she gets to make a tasty vegetarian dish herself — that builds trust a lot better than repeatedly saying 'don't add it,' and helps her see that food can taste great without meat. If it keeps happening even after several conversations, a more practical approach is to take over cooking part of the meal yourself, or to clearly explain your reason (religious belief, health reasons, personal choice — whatever framing she's more likely to accept), and calmly but firmly restate that boundary a few times. Most older relatives will gradually come around once they're sure this isn't just a phase. In genuinely extreme cases where communication just isn't working at all, consider preparing that portion of the meal separately yourself — it cuts down on conflict and protects your own peace of mind.